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March Newsletter

FMB March Newsletter

We are a quarter of the way through the year…… boy oh boy… where has it gone???

In this month’s Fit Minds and Bodies’ newsletter there is information for families, those with addictions and those who don’t eat regularly.

Inside this newsletter you will find the latest research on the following:

• the influence fathers have on their children’s eating habits and weight – even more important than mothers!
• ice-cream is equally addictive as cocaine to some
• the findings of the Choice Diet Clinic shadow shopping article
• how your hungry brain automatically seeks out food.

A bonus offer for those who pay upfront for the small group educational sessions.

Those on a disability pension, pension or the unemployed, in Australia, who are eligible for Medicare assistance, will be bulk-billed for the small group educational sessions.

FMB March Newsletter

February Newsletter

FMB Newsletter February 2012

Most people find losing weight really difficult and think about the amount of weight they have to lose and get overwhelmed.

Inside this month’s newsletter is:

• the benefits of losing just 5kg
•  hints and tips to lose 5kg with ease (no deprivation or restriction)
• how your taste buds could be causing weight gain and addiction
• the skinny on fats – we need fat in our diet and how to choose good ones.

SMALL GROUP SESSIONS START 27 FEBRUARY!!!!!

These are not support groups!

These are educational sessions to help you achieve success and break your negative patterns for good to stop dieting and worrying about food and weight!

You can attend in person or online…………

You can make your own group up (friends, family, colleagues) OR join a group……………………..

Find a group that suits your needs:

• food addict, emotional eater, binge eater, nite time eater, yo-yo dieter
• 35+ BMI
• kids with weight issues and their families
• teens with weight issues and their families
• hypnosis only for weight loss (must attend in person)

The other benefits include:

•     Cost effective – $29.95/session (after rebates may be only be $8 out-of-pocket)

•     Time efficient – 30 minutes of education and 30 minutes of discussion

•     Every fortnight

•     Attend in person or online – you can be anywhere in Australia or the World and still attend

•     Small groups – 10-15 maximum

•    Educational (30 minutes of education and information on psychology, nutrition or activity) followed by 3o minute  discussion

FMB Newsletter February 2012

Dieting causing obesity

There are more diets in the news, on TV (reality shows) and on the book shelves then ever and people are consistently told to diet however, is dieting one the causes for the increasing obesity epidemic? We just have to look at some of the most famous yo-yoers in our society, Oprah, Kirsty Alley, Kelly Clarkson, John Travolta, Russel Crowe, Janet Jackson just to name a few.

More and more evidence is mounting against dieting to state that it is one of the leading causes of weight regain and a predictor. One study tracked dieters for up to 2 years and found that by 12 months to 2 years most people were back to their starting weight.

More and more research is showing that hormone levels (Cortisol, Leptin, Insulin, Ghrelin and more) alter in response to dieting causing negative outcomes including:

• reduced tolerance to stress
• increases in hunger
• increases in obsessive thinking about food
• increases in cravings

and ultimately, weight regain.

The diet industry thrives on the quick loss and results and regain model to keep themselves in business. Obesity is a real problem, not just a meal ticket or something that just requires a bit of willpower and discipline to change eating patterns and increase movement. It is more complex and needs to be seen as a neurobio-psychosocial issue and needs to be managed from all of these angles.

http://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa1105816

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/10/111028142504.htm

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/08/110802125546.htm

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/01/110111132215.htm

 

Food Addiction or Emotional Eating

Many people struggle with food and weight. You may be one of the thousands who use food to change your mood, make you feel better, give you energy. You may go on diets to try and resolve your emotional overeating or stress eating and try to lose weight but find yourself inevitably in the grips on food and feeling like a failure again. If this is you then you may have a food addiction rather than emotional eating issues.

With a food addiction, just like any other substance or addiction, it lies on a continuum from mild to severe. Whether mild or severe, the underlying causes are the same:

• brain systems
• brain chemistry
• body and functioning
• emotional attachment and memories (habit for some)
• emotional distress and/or trauma (past and present).

By going on a diet or giving up the foods you use to soothe your addiction, you will more than likely perpetuating and enhancing the negative cycle of addiction. Part of the reason is that any change to your system causes stress and increases the negative brain chemistry which will push you towards an addiction cycle.

Basics to help start the process:

• Making minor changes in your diet to reduce stress e.g. don’t change everything at once. Add 1 extra vegetable a day and 1 more piece of fruit and reduce addictive foods by 1/8 per day.
• Drink 1 extra glass of water per day.
• Don’t make any more than 3-4 small changes every 3 weeks.
• Doing something to reduce stress every day e.g. deep breathing, playing music more, taking your morning and afternoon tea breaks and go outside, stretching etc.

Understanding the foods that cause your addiction and then very slowly reducing them and replacing them with healthy foods is important. Your tastes will change and by doing it slowly, you will gradually reduce your addiction and improve your life.

You may need to seek professional help from a psychologist who specialises in treating emotional distress and/or trauma, body-image and acceptance, addiction and more, if you think you cannot do it alone.

Fit Minds & Bodies’ Small Group Sessions (starting 2012) are an option for professional and personal support, no matter where you are in Australia. You can attend the sessions in person or online and the sessions are cost effective.

Apology Language – Requesting Forgiveness

Requesting Forgiveness is the last or 5th of the Languages of Apology. This is when someone genuinely states, ‘Will you please forgive me?’

Being asked for forgiveness can be a crucial part of the apology for those with this as their primary language. Without someone requesting forgiveness, it appears to the person who has been wronged that the wrong doer really doesn’t believe they have done anything wrong. By requesting forgiveness the wrong doer:

• believes they have done something wrong
• doesn’t want this to remain a barrier in their relationship
• is willing to put the future of the relationship in the wronged person’s hands
• wants to restore and rebuild the relationship and put it high on their priority list.

Requesting forgiveness may not return an immediate response so the wrong doer needs to be patient and allow the wronged person to process the information, their thoughts, feelings and emotions (and grieve if necessary). In some cases, the wrong doer may need to show that they have changed, over time, to allow forgiveness to occur.

Requesting forgiveness can be more difficult for some people including those who:

• have control issues or have a controlling personality type
• have perfectionistic characteristics and don’t like to admit they are wrong or have made mistakes
• fear rejection
• fear failure.

You need to know when your personality characteristics (ego) and/or fears are creating a barrier in your relationship or causing your relationship to fall apart. No one is perfect and no situation can be controlled! We all have fears but life is to be lived not feared and you need to decide if you have the courage to live, grow and love!

Apology Language – Genuine Repenting

Genuine Repenting is the 4th in the Languages of Apology series that really says, ‘I’ll try not to do that again’. This language is the ‘doing and changing’ language.

The person who has wronged others, realises that their behaviour has caused pain and has become a destructive wedge within the relationship. They choose to change their behaviour and want to genuinely turn things around.

Some people say that they, ‘will change’ but consistently continue their behaviour or excuse their behaviour away as part of their personality or as a reason why they continue to partake in a behaviour and do not change. These people do not believe that it is genuinely hurting anyone else or they do not want to believe that their behaviour is causing pain because THEY DO NOT WANT TO CHANGE.

Genuine repenting starts with true intention with accepting responsibility, getting rid of all excuses and beginning to identify the behaviours and changes that need to occur. The most successful process and outcome is when both people sit down and discuss a pathway and plan for change together. Change can take time and patience is needed from both sides. Mistakes, setbacks and/or failures may occur and it is important that both parties are involved in this process and further planning to ensure success (if both want it – counselling is a very important part of this process for direction, planning, negotiation and new ways of coping, communicating and especially for times of setbacks or failures).

Apology Language – Making Restitution

Making Restitution is the 3rd in the Languages of Apology. Making Restitution is asking the wronged person, ‘What can I do to make it right?’ Usually an expression of regret and/or accepting responsibility precedes asking for restitution. It is important that the ‘wrong doer’ does not assume what will make it right and asks the person what they need to help make the situation right. This Apology Language is a repay (for the wrong doing) and restore (the relationship, the person’s self esteem/safety, etc) situation. As a result, it is important that the person who has been wronged tells you what they need in order to move past the incident or there is a high chance that resolution and forgiveness may never occur.

The ways of restitution need to follow the hierarchy of the person’s Love Languages to be effective. Below are the Languages of Love and some examples of restitutions:

• Words of Affirmation – the person needs to hear genuine and sincere acknowledgements e.g. affirming love, appreciation, achievements, self-esteem, personal characteristics etc
• Acts of Service – doing things to repay and help to restore the balance of the relationship e.g. doing chores, making dinner, looking after the kids and allowing personal time alone, paying bills etc
• Gifts – gifts that say, ‘I am sorry’ e.g. flowers, cards, jewellery, weekend away/holiday, pampering package, toys etc
• Quality Time -  spending time together doing something that the ‘wronged person’ needs and wants to do that will improve the relationship e.g. going out for dinner/lunch/coffee, designated and uninterrupted time, playing in the backyard, going on picnics/bbqs, going for walks etc
• Physical Touch – kiss, touch, hug, wrestle (with the kids), sitting together on the couch, holding hands etc

If the person doesn’t know what they want, at that moment, give them time and space to come back with something that will help them to forgive and move on.

 

Apology Language – Accepting Responsibility

Accepting Responsibility is the second in the Languages of Apology according to Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas who wrote the book, The Five Languages of Apology. Accepting responsibility is really saying:

• ‘I was wrong!’
• ‘I made a mistake!’

Accepting Responsibility is strongly tied to self-esteem (self-worth) and is developed during childhood. It is also during childhood where you decide whether or not accepting responsibility is the right thing to do or whether you link it to being bad, weak and diminishing your self-esteem. Majority of the time, you will then take this belief and related behaviours into adulthood. You will either be an adult who:

• can accept responsibility for your behaviours, or
• is trapped in childhood patterns that will harm your intimate relationships as you will always rationalise and blame others for your behaviour.

Being human means that there is NO PERFECTION and as such humanities’ imperfections results in making mistakes, doing wrong things to others, hurting others etc. This is the first lesson of this language of apology. The next part of the lesson is that it is actually strong, courageous, powerful and insightful to admit your mistakes, ask for forgiveness and right the wrongs. A person who has a positive and strong self-esteem (self-worth) is able to stand up and take responsibility. A person with a poor self-esteem (self-worth) will see accepting responsibility as a weakness, bad, and will turn blame on to the other person or other circumstances to excuse and rationalise their behaviour. This is actually the way of a coward.

Accepting responsibility in relationships sets the stage for greater forgiveness, reconciliation, understanding and honesty.

Not accepting responsibility in relationships sets the stage for fractured relationships which eventually may lead to relationship breakdowns.

The first step is being honest with yourself and admitting to yourself that you are not perfect, that taking responsibility is courageous and by standing up and accepting responsibility, it is actually building your self-esteem as you can stand tall and proud to know you have done the right thing.

Apology Language Regret

We all know that a sincere apology is very important to maintaining good relationships and improving relationships. There are 5 languages of apology according to authors Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas. The first one is Expressing Regret which is the, ‘I am sorry’.

The focus of the regret apology is as follows:

• expressing sincere guilt, shame, pain to the person they have hurt
• expressing and understanding what was done/wasn’t done
• expressing and understanding how it affected/hurt the person.

There are a few things that can happen when someone says sorry that can be manipulative and insincere:

• Body Language & Eye Contact – these 2 things need to match the words of the apology and in keeping with the ‘wrong doers’ natural style. For example some people may feel so bad about what they have done that they cannot look at you and their voice becomes quiet. Other people will look you directly in the eye to ensure you realise that they are truly sincere and sorry.
• The BUT – NO apology should be followed by a ‘but’! If someone apologises and then says, but….. they are usually placing the blame for their behaviour or words back on to you/apologisee. This is not a sincere apology and they need to defend themselves by attacking and blaming.
• Wanting an Apology Back – sometimes people will apologise just to get an apology in return. They expect one and believe they deserve one and will try and manipulate (guilt) the apologisee into apologising to them. This is not a sincere apology because when you are sincere, it stands alone and there is no need for anyone else to apologise for anything.
• Get it Over & Done With – some people will apologise just to get you off their back or they think that once they apologise, the subject will be dropped and you can all move on. These people are saying it as if it is like a ‘quick fix’ for the current situation. The sincerity of the apology is not real and if you listen to the voice, the body language, eye contact, the content, you will know it is not the genuine article. If the subject comes up again, they will generally say, ‘I apologised! What more do you want?!’ Or something like that.

A good and sincere expression of regret looks something like this:

I am really sorry that I hurt and disappointed you by not thinking about your feelings and needs. I didn’t intend on hurting you and I was insensitive and I didn’t listen even when you were telling me.

Each week we will keep adding to the Languages of Apology and by the end of the series, we will all be experts in apologising!

Mind and Body Power Newsletter – March 2011

This newsletter is packed with lots of interesting information and a competition:

• Win 1 of 10 Webinar Series through the Lifestyle Channel promotion finishes 31 March http://www.lifestyleyou.com.au/youtryityourateit/apply.aspx?id=344
• If you don’t win then we are beginning the webinars on the 5th April so you can be a part of these, see how in the newsletter
• Interesting facts about the sexes
• yummy recipes and recipe ideas
• and more…..

MindandBodyPowerNewsletter